I usually put people before I put myself.
I usually focus on people and make sure they are happy and often forget about myself and my self worth.
I often care about people way more than people care about me or people who don’t even care about me in the first place.
This usually makes me feel shitty and like I have no one.
“I do this! Time after time after time! I do all this shit for other people! And then I wake up and I’m empty! I have nothing!”. A quote from one of my favorite movies (Silver Linings Playbook).
When I heard this quote I knew exactly how the Supporter character (played by Jennifer Lawrence) felt.
There is only one person who can be there for you 24/7; and that’s yourself.
In middle school when I barely had any friends I always had candy and gum. I would give it to people. I thought this would get me friends. In reality, it was just people taking advantage of me and some would tell me to buy them candy from the store and I did. Even though, I really didn’t want to.
I was really vulnerable. I was seen as a target.
Freshmen year one of my friends who I was really close to at the time told me I was not afraid to be nice.
But, often people saw that as me flirting with them or being fake.
Now that i’m older I am learning that I need to do things for myself.
It’s hard but it has to be done. Self worth is one of the most important things to me.
You have to take care of yourself before you care for others.
I use to not give a shit about myself, but, I realized that was stupid.
Like the rapper drake says “know your worth.”
To this day I am starting to do things that make me happy; like doing more art, going on runs/walks, listening to music, dancing and etc.
I’m starting to love myself and see the true beauty I have.
Self worth is one of the important things not only to me but also, in life.